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Part 6

As the carriage continued on,Thalia's thoughts remained in the past. She threw herself into her new role as countess completely. The servants learnt quickly that their new lady would not tolerate slackness but was fair in her expectations. She was also quick to acknowledge a job well done. They liked and respected her. The Earl's townhome in London and country estate were exceptionally well run.
When her children came along they became the centre of her life. She let down all barriers when she was with them and was simply herself. In the country she was able to spend so much more time with them than she could in London, although she made sure even there to spend part of each day with them. She had missed them fiercely while visiting Nick.
And Grenfield. If she was to be honest with herself, she had to admit she had miissed him as well. Although they largely lived their lives separately, as most couples they knew did, they had always been in the same place at the same time till now. They had grown so far apart that she really had not thought the physical distance would effect her. Some days she might not have seen much of him as he dealt with parliamentary business in London and estate business in the country but she had seen him everyday. Until this trip, she had not realized how much those, sometimes brief, glimpses had meant to her. He had agreed to the trip as she was sure he would, as he did to anything she asked. Had he missed those glimpses too? Had he missed her?
Sometimes she wondered about his feelings. He had never said he loved her but then she had never said the words to him either. She knew with a certainty that he had been faithful to his wedding vows. Was that because of his feelings for her or because he took an oath seriously?
She had thought herself contented in her life until she watched Nick and Sylvia. Nick was new to being an earl and, as a younger son, had never thought to inherit. Would being an earl change him? Although Thalia knew she would help Sylvia to learn to be a countess, she was sure Nick would insist on playing a part. Nick would not want his wood nymph to change too much.
Had Grenfield wanted her to change? Perhaps she had interpreted things wrong in those early days. He had asked about household matters, most often on days problems had arose, and, remembering her mother's talk, Thalia had thought it was a testing of her abilities and she only assured him all was well. Had he asked out of concern; as an offer of help? She would likely never know the answer. He had stopped asking long ago.
The first day of travel had passed with minimal conservation passing between the brother and sister.

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Part 7

The second day of travel dawned brightly and they got off to an early start. If things went well they could make it to Grenmarsh Abbey by evening.
"I have a question for you, Peter," Thalia started the conversation on this leg of their journey.
"What is that?" asked Peter.
"Why are you avoiding Mother?" she asked.
"Am I?" asked Peter.
"Since Father's death and her move to the house in Bath she inherited from her mother, you have not once visited her. I know she is wont to nag you about marrying and setting up your nursery but you can handle that."
"I see her several times a year," countered Peter.
"Only when she visits Grenfield and I or returns to Brant House," pointed out Thalia.
"I guess that is true but she has not lived in Bath that long," said Peter.
"Peter! It's been nearly four years!" exclaimed Thalia.
"Has it?" wondered Peter aloud.
"Yes," answered Thalia.
"I will see what I can arrange," answered Peter vaguely.
"Alright. I won't belabour the point," said Thalia.
"You have visited her several times, haven't you?" asked Peter thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Thalia. "Grenfield has two dependent great-aunts residing in Bath. He feels an obligation to them so we go, as a family, twice a year for a couple of weeks each time."
After a pause, Thalia asked, "Have you visited Bath at all since Grandmother's funeral?"
"No," he said curtly.
Thalia had felt a change in him back then and had even questioned him on it. He had denied that there had been anything that she did not know about. Now she was certain there had been but knew better than to ask him directly. As she thought about it, she recalled an odd conversation that had come up during her last visit. Surely it had nothing to do with Peter's avoidance of Bath, or did it?
"Bath has not changed all that much," she said watching Peter carefully. "But I do enjoy visiting there. I've always liked visiting the bookshop especially now that the owner's daughter has returned to help him."
"Oh?" Peter said with calculated disinterest that did not fool his sister. Ah, thought Thalia, perhaps there was more to Helen asking after Peter than courtesy. "Didn't she marry?"
"Yes and her husband had become her father's partner." Thalia continued, "But she returned when her husband became ill a few years ago. Helen says she is working to preserve her son's inheritance since he was only five when his father died three years ago."
"You call her Helen?" asked Peter.
"Yes," said Thalia. "We have become friends in spite of the difference of our stations. We share a lot of the same interests and have similar ideas on childrearing."
"I see," said Peter. "And Grenfield has no objections to the friendship?"
"Grenfield has never objected to anything I've done," said Thalia.
She bowed her head and added, almost to herself, "Sometimes I think he is not even aware of what I do."

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Part 8

Perhaps, thought Peter, that is at the core of Thalia's discontent, although he believed Grenfield more observant than Thalia did. He had noticed that Thalia changed greatly after her wedding. To the casual observer, the marriage was ideal. There was never a hint of scandal nor any impropriety. The Earl and Countess of Grenfield were known for their hospitality and were greatly sought as guests. Both were well liked and respected. Still, Peter could not shake off the idea that the formal roles the two had adopted were not what they truly wanted. As Peter had gotten to know his brother-in-law over the last ten years, he had let go of the idea that Grenfield had demanded the changes in Thalia. He had assumed next that it was a result of maturity but he'd seen glimpses of the 'old' Thalia, especially when she was with her children. He had caught her at play with them one morning. She confessed that she made time for the children everyday, regardless of her social commitments.
The silence dragged on and Peter decided to voice his opinion. "I think he is more aware than you give him credit for."
Thalia's head popped up and she looked at him. He continued, "I do not know why I asked if he objected. I know he would not because he trusts you."
"Yes, I believe he does," said Thalia.
"He holds you in very high esteem," continued Peter.
"Yes," Thalia again agreed with him.
"That is more than many marriages in our circle can boast," said Peter.
"So very true," said Thalia.
"But, it is not enough for you, is it?" Peter asked softly.
Thalia did not answer him.
"I am going to say my piece, Thalia," Peter said. "I know our parents exalted the marriage on the basis of rank and money but I believe you married for love. I believe Grenfield did as well."
"I did," said Thalia softly. "I hoped that he did."
"But something happened when you married; something made you change," said Peter.
"I became a married woman and had responsibilities to see to," replied Thalia. "I had to change."
"Did Grenfield tell you that?" asked Peter. "If he'd wanted someone different why would he ask for your hand?"
"No!" said Thalia emphatically. "It was not him."
"But someone did," concluded Peter. After a brief pause, he added, "Who would you heed?"
Thalia remained silent. Peter saw that his very strong sister was on the verge of tears and crossed the coach to sit next to her. He put his arm around her and whispered, "We have come this far, Thalia. Please do not shut me out now. Tell me the rest."
Thalia took a deep, steadying breath. "The night before my wedding, Mama talked to me. She told me how to be a proper countess. I wanted to do the right thing."
"Oh, Thalia," said Peter softly as he continued to hold her close. "I do love Mama but I would not consider her an expert on marriage. We both know her and Father's marriage was arranged by their families while they were young. You and Grenfield chose each other. Besides, you and Mother are two very different people."
"Peter," was all Thalia managed before she turned her face into Peter's shoulder and gave into the tears that had been held back.
Peter softly stroked her back. "Sweet Sister, let it out. I think you have been holding this all in a very long time."

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Part 9

After a few minutes, Thalia sat back and took a handkerchief from her reticule. As she wiped the tears, she said with a half-smile, "I guess it is true that a good cry helps."
Peter smiled back.
"I have never talked about this to anyone," confided Thalia. "Those first years I was so busy working on being the perfect countess Mama had described. Later, years later, I did start to wonder but the pattern was set."
"You can change the pattern, Thalia," said Peter.
"I am not so sure," said Thalia.
"Why do you say that?" asked Peter.
"You may think me very contrary, but, I had hoped that Grenfield would have said no to this trip to see Nick," said Thalia. "But he agreed."
"I do not understand," said Peter.
Thalia gave him half-hearted smile. "Although we have each pursued our own activities to a large extent, Grenfield and I have always been in the same place until now."
"I never realized that," said Peter. "But still do not understand. Unless you were testing him by telling him you were making this trip. Is that it?"
"No!" protested Thalia. "Perhaps. I am not sure."
"If it is any consolation, I think he wanted you to remain," said Peter.
"Why do you say that?" asked Thalia.
"For a couple of reasons," said Peter. "Firstly, there was the warning that I would be held accountable if anything happened to you. Secondly, there was the way he stood watching our departing carriage until I could no longer see him."
"He did?" asked Thalia.
"Yes," said Peter. "Talk to him, Thalia."
"I am not sure I can, Peter," said Thalia.
"Yes you can," said Peter. "You know as well as I you can do anything you set your mind to do."
"Oh, Peter," said Thalia. "That is true, except with Grenfield."
"Why is that different?" asked Peter.
"If he ... " Thalia stopped, unable to give voice to her fears.
"Refused to listen to you?" Peter asked gently. When she nodded, he continued, "I think he will listen but if I am wrong, would that be any worse than the present situation?"
"Perhaps not," said Thalia. "Thank you, Dear Brother."
A smile spread over Thalia's face. Peter knew that smile well. It meant she had plan. Perhaps he should follow her example. By Jove, he would!
"When we reach Grenmarsh Abbey, I am going to send a note to Mother asking her if this would be a convenient time to visit her in Bath," said Peter.
"Oh?" asked Thalia.
"I have some old business there to put to rest," was all he said.
Silence once more settled over the carriage as the occupants mentally prepared their courses of action.

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Part 10

It was early evening when the carriage pulled up to Grenmarsh Abbey. The property had been awarded to the Earl of Grenfield's ancestors back in the time of Henry the Eighth. As they neared, footmen emerged from the building. Once the carriage stopped, one opened the door while two others unloaded the baggage. Peter exited the carriage first and turned to offer Thalia a hand down. Thalia wanted to race into the house to see the family she had missed so much but she refrained and took the arm Peter offered her. They mounted the steps and proceeded through the open door to be greeted by the butler.
"Good evening, my lady. My lord."
"Good evening, Jennings," returned Thalia. "I take it you received my letter."
"Yes, my lady," said Jennings. "Lord Peter's usual room has been prepared for him and I have assigned Robert to act as his valet. Molly will serve you in Mary's stead. I hope the choices meet with your approval, my lady."
"Excellent, Jennings," said Thalia. "I believe I will check the nursery before freshening up. I would like a light dinner sent up to my room in an hour as I am fatigued from the travel."
Thalia took a deep breath. "One more thing, Jennings. Please ask the Earl to join me in my sitting room at his earliest convenience."
Jennings seemed to hesitate a moment before he said, "Yes, my lady."
"I will see you at breakfast, Peter," Thalia said.
Peter gave her a reassuring smile, "I will see you then."
Thalia walked up the stairs but, assured no one would see her, picked up the pace to a near run in the hall to the nursery. She stopped abruptly short of the nursery door at the sound of a voice. It had to be Grenfield. She recognized the words to one of the children's favourite stories. She silently peered into the room and could hardly believe her eyes. Grenfield sat in the rocker, three year old Rosalyn, in her nightrail occupying his lap, as he read from the storybook. Eight year old Catherine and six year old Richard, also in nightclothes, sat on the carpet looking up at their father. Something had happened in her absence. When the story ended, she stepped into the room and said "Hello."
They all looked in her direction. "Mama!" rang through the air as Rosalyn wiggled off her father's lap and Catherine and Richard stood up. Thalia opened her arms and the three ran to her. As she enveloped all three in her arms, she looked at Grenfield. He remained in the rocking chair watching them. The smile on his face warmed her heart and the hope that had started to grow from her talk with Peter grew.
After a few minutes, Grenfield spoke, "I think it is time for bed."
"Yes," agreed Thalia releasing the children.
"We will have time together tomorrow," she promised the children.
As Richard made his way to one room off of the nursery, Catherine and Rosalyn walked into the other. Grenfield had arisen from the chair and come to Thalia's side.
"Shall we follow the girls?" he asked. "I have been wishing them a good night and then Richard as they told me that was the way you did it."
Thalia smiled up at him. "Yes."
Grenfield offered her his arm and led her into their daughters' room.

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Part 11

When Grenfield and Thalia left the nursery, he remarked, with a smile, "You are still in your travel clothes!"
"Yes," admitted Thalia. "I needed to see the children."
He sobered and asked, "What about me? Did you need to see me?"
"Yes!" said Thalia emphatically. "I told Jennings that I was going to check on the children in the nursery and then go to my room to get cleaned up. I asked that he send up a tray as I am very tired from the long day of travel and to ask you to join me in my sitting room."
Thalia smiled. "He knew I would see you in the nursery!"
"Yes, he would," agreed her husband. "Why do you wish me to join you?"
Thalia took a deep breath. "I want to talk to you. No. I need to talk to you."
"I want to talk to you as well," said Grenfield. "Shall I give you a half hour to change and freshen up?"
"That sounds fine," said Thalia.
"Good. Do you think Peter will mind if I desert him this evening?" asked Grenfield. "We could both have our dinners sent up to your room."
"I am sure he would not mind," said Thalia.
"I will go say hello to him then and arrange for our dinner," Grenfield gave her a brief kiss and left. As he turned at the stairs he glanced back at where he left Thalia. She still stood there, her fingers on her lips, looking enchantingly entranced. He smiled to himself as he descended the stairs.
During the meal in Thalia's sitting room, the conversation was the same sort of polite conversation they had always exchanged. They both felt an expectancy charging the atmosphere.
After dinner, they settled into the wing chairs that flanked the fireplace.
"Shall I go first?" offered Grenfield.
"If you wish," replied Thalia.
"Alright. I travelled here from London in the carriage with the children," he started. "We were awkward with each other at first and I realized I had never before been alone with my children. We got beyond that and the children were eager to tell me so much. They especially had much to say about their wonderful Mama. It was very enlightening."
"I am so sorry, Grenfield," started Thalia.
"Max," interrupted Grenfield.
Thalia stared at him. "Please call me Max," he said.
"When we were courting you asked me to call you Grenfield," said Thalia.
"I did. It was better than 'my lord' and the proper thing for me to say." He smiled. "I interupted."
"Yes, you did," agreed Thalia. "I was saying I was sorry."
"For what, Thalia?" he asked.
"Oh, Gren... Max," said Thalia. "A few days ago, I would have apologized for not having made better arrangements for the children's care so that they would not have bothered you."
"They were not a bother to me," said Max.
"I know that now," said Thalia. "Seeing you with the children this evening, I realized that I have deprived all of you and for that I am so very sorry."
"Why, Thalia? I would not have thought the young woman I courted to hold such an idea," remarked Max.
"You are right," said Thalia. "The night before my wedding, my mother gave me a talk on being a proper countess. You deserved the best Max, so I tried to become that ideal countess."
"I think I see," said Max. "I take it that is why you never came to me with household problems either."
"Yes," said Thalia.
"I wanted to help you," said Max.
"I am sorry, Max," said Thalia.
"Come here," urged Max.
Thalia went to stand in front of Max. He pulled her onto his lap. "Max!" exclaimed a startled Thalia.
Max cradled her in his arms. "I do not want you feeling sorry. I just want your promise to come to me and ask me what I want from now on."
Thalia put her arms around Max's neck and looked in his eyes. "I promise. Max, I ..."
"You what?" he prompted.
"I love you."
"Oh, my darling Thalia, I love you too," said Max before kissing her long and deep.
When the kiss ended they sat quietly holding each other close till Max spoke.
"I must admit to being curious about something though."
Thalia pulled back her head so she could look up into his face. "What is that?" she asked.
"I have heard," started Max, "that mothers talk to their daughters about the marriage bed on the eve of the daughter's wedding."
"Yes," said Thalia although she was now looking at Max's neckcloth.
"Well," continued Max, "that is one place I have always felt the Thalia I courted remained. Did your mother not advise you in being a proper countess there?"
"She really did not say much on the subject," said Thalia.
"Oh?"
"She only said that she was sure that you knew what to do and did not say what I should do," said Thalia. "So I guess I never worried about being proper."
Max threw back his head and laughed. "Thank goodness!"

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